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Posts Tagged ‘mental-health’

day_vs_night_by_fotolympus

I must read my own words
to know the door will open
but until then I
am in a state of in between

I’m in a jodi’s closet
two doors, both locked
I’m between winter and spring
tears and laughter

I’m between no longer young
and too old
between afraid and secure
a metronome stopped mid-melody

I’m between hate and love
abused and cherished
dissatisfied and content
Lord, move me

I’m in between
and I’m
desperate to lean
one way or the other

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I need a new beginning
before I reach the end

I’m unraveling
before I can get it together

I pull and I get guts
no start no end

tangles

not what I expected
but I can’t start over

deadline approaches

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words don’t flow
unnaturally
the wine is corked
the bottle empty instead
a flood of seratonin sameness
envelopes me
on a constant even keel
not not feeling but not reacting
without cause
there is no anger but there is still
the sameness we play
nothing has changed
the snake still coils to strike
but instead withdraws quietly
water grows stagnant around me
I’m wet matches and dead batteries
the impetus of life
seems dilute
but I’m ok

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Lifeline

grab at something to hold onto

a rock,  no matter the pain

seize it, hold it

clutch it as a lifeline

close your eyes to the stinging glare

stop

the demons that beckon and conjure

taking you downward

backward

spiraling

contriving to smite you down

don’t allow your toes

to touch bottom

fight

regain your breath

stand

grab onto life you have been given

and have given through

umbilical blood

feel

the outreached fingers

remember their warmth

unclench your fist

grasp your rock

know

the love

stand and hug yourself

and then be

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