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Posts Tagged ‘poetry’

frecklesatbeach (720x960)  Awhile back I was going to write a story about dust-bunnies.

I watched them for many years and have a love/hate relationship with the devilish little things. They seemingly appear before your eyes from nowhere. They scurry across the floor and have no regard for mop nor broom. Lightning fast they are. After you’re done sweeping, and walking the dustmop across the floor and into their favorite hiding spots; after you’ve wiped the sweat from your eyes there, THERE is another in the middle of the hallway. They are like little children and (honest, listen hard) they laugh at you. “You can’t get me”. If you leave them alone they can grow to the size of a small dog.

“Small dog”

That brings me to the reason for my writing today. Two days have passed since the unexpected loss of my dear beagle girl ‘freckles’. I spent several hours of the last two days helping my two other precious dogs, ‘Bear’ and ‘Snickers’, accustom themselves to being without her. We went walking and played at the dog park.  They swam and ran as fast as they could.  Today I grieve.

I swept up the last of the dust bunnies from my house, Tuesday.  Today I found none.

My dear girl Freckles has left the housekeeping chores to the angels.

Freckles

 

Freckles

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2014-04-01 11.44.50
Another mouth to feed, one that decidedly will become a big one.  This  67-yr old, not the least bit athletic, not even remotely athletic, has fallen for one of the litter I wrote about in February.  Lil Bear, I call him.  You can call me crazy.  I wavered for a couple weeks. I brought him home to ‘try out’ with my other two older, wonderful dogs.  That didn’t exactly go well.  Freckles is afraid Bear will eat his food.  Snickers is afraid Bear will take his spot next to me on the couch.  My reassurance did not help.   I brought him back to the litter the next day.  It was hard, I cri ed.  My husband said we don’t need another dog.  No one really needs one dog unless it’s a service dog.  But three!  He’s right, I don’t need another dog.

Lil Bear, hit my heart hard!  When I went to help my daughter clean up after the first 6 pups left, I tried to ignore him.  I cleaned up poopey papers, washed the floors as he and his litter-mates chased the mop.  I hugged and petted each pup equally.  Well almost.  when I picked him up for his lovin’, he looked into my eyes and he laughed, I know he laughed.  He knew he had me.  Another of the litter was adopted.  Down to 5 from the 11 Maisey had birthed.  I knew the last male was being kept by Julie, my daughter.   I tried out a female which was my preference if I was crazy enough to have another dog.  The little girl was so spooked by my female beagle, I thought she’d die of fright.  After an hour or two, I took her home.  She was sweet but I knew she would be forever skittish.  I really don’t need another dog anyway.

Julie reminded me that soon after their ‘fixin’, the remaining pups would be going to the adoption center.  Last weekend I decided I do need another dog and brought ‘Bear’ home again.  My logic is flawed I’m sure, but here it is.  My daughter owns his mother.  His favorite playmate of the litter is also going to be with my daughter.  I’m sure Bear will be a frequent visitor at the home four short miles away.  Julie will often take bear to the beach with them all to run.  She will also care for him if I need to travel.  Bear Loves Me!  Enough said? No?

I LOVE Li’l BEAR! Now he is mine.

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newgrowthso the time has come

to remove the dead and decaying that

has become useless  and aged

that in its prime, bloomed brilliant

violet and orange

and brought  kings to their knees

and princes to tears

as we kneel

we work our hands into

the soil and wonder

who’s hands

we may have taught

to do this chore next year,

someone with love and mom

we hope

and we understand

new life

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ufp-pool-of-tears
A young women, close friend of my daughter, recently discovered both parents dead of an apparent murder/suicide. I must speak to this unimaginable tragedy as it has hit my own heart hard.

Sad

Sad
for the senselessness
that left behind
this sorrow, anger, rage
fear, and emptiness
shaped into tears
all pooled together
on the floor

Sad
for the inescapable
heartwrenching
unimaginable,
tasks that must be borne
by innocents to
go forward

Sad
for the tangle of twisted
emotion
love and hate together
challenging one another
in one head
fused together
impenetrable

Sad
for the feelings
of guilt and blame
sure to emerge
the ‘if only’s and ‘what if’s
and the intense shame so
undeserved but
relentless

Sad
for the lost
moments all children
deserve
gingerbread kisses moments,
I love you hugs
prideful moments
sweet simple joyful
moments
lost is the
sense of
protection and security
parental wisdom
brings

And when the

fog of disbelief
dissolves
I’m So Very Sad
for the pain
still to come

Love One Another

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day_vs_night_by_fotolympus

I must read my own words
to know the door will open
but until then I
am in a state of in between

I’m in a jodi’s closet
two doors, both locked
I’m between winter and spring
tears and laughter

I’m between no longer young
and too old
between afraid and secure
a metronome stopped mid-melody

I’m between hate and love
abused and cherished
dissatisfied and content
Lord, move me

I’m in between
and I’m
desperate to lean
one way or the other

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Penmanship

I watched her patiently

as she formed each letter in02-dad-fountain-pen-writing-2

a motion akin to a waltz

not with any intention

she considered only the accuracy

of the words

not the resulting beauty

of their formation

another loss for

humanity

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Fickle

CartoonWomanKnittingBIt’s been a while since

I’ve written a single word

I’ve had other loves to chase

why does that make me feel so unfaithful

I am fickle,  I know that, but

I have no deadlines to meet

I’m no longer micromanaged

I’ve no-one to answer to but my own ego

and God of course

I confess

I’ve been spending my time

entwined in wool and cotton

hooks and needles in hand

but this phase will pass

see, I’ve written

I’m almost there

then I may pull out my easel

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Another Christmas, Friend

don’t get your tinsel in a tangle,
and your knuckles in a knot
it’s just another Christmas, friend
no reason to be distraught

set ye in a rocking chair
and just watch the crazy commotion
while this friend does the same
as she stares out at the ocean

We’ve been thru holidays together
and we’ve been thru them apart
you would think that at our age
we’d know the drill by heart

This friend in South Carolina
is wishing you calm and peace
it’s just another Christmas, friend
and we’ll meet down on the beach

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Big Sisters

Big sisters resemble the best friends of long ago,
girls you can whisper with and tell your secrets to

Big Sisters resemble those big girls in 8th grade that
carry big stacks of books across their chest and giggle at the boys

Big sisters resemble animal shadows on the wall fashioned
from cupped hands against the moonlight that makes you laugh

Big sisters tell you not to worry and tell you stories that
whisk you away from the ugliness in the hallway until you fall asleep

Big sisters threaten to tickle you to death if you don’t scratch their back
and they take you to see Frankenstein

Big sisters go away and leave you unsure how and when to grow up
and they give you their bedroom and you figure it out anyway

Big sisters resemble movie stars and dress up in high heels, lipstick,
and mascara and they hide sexy true love magazines under the mattress

Big sisters teach you how to climb out the bedroom window at midnight
and shimmy down a tree and what the word consequence means

Big sisters won’t tell on you if you pay them
and they will take you with them if you don’t tell on them

Big sisters can make noises with their gum
and can swim all the way to the raft at the pond

Big sisters resemble mom and can fill in for her at a moments notice
with encouragement, pride, comforting and hugs

Big sisters resemble family and love and fried chicken Sundsys
and I have been doubly blessed to have two

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Missed Intentions

this will be good
I think
and helpful
I think
this will bring cheer
and joy and peace
I think
this will end the tears
30. Depression
and devastation
and grief
and sorrow
so painful to watch
from inside my heart
I think
but
who am I

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