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Posts Tagged ‘sorrow’

frecklesatbeach (720x960)  Awhile back I was going to write a story about dust-bunnies.

I watched them for many years and have a love/hate relationship with the devilish little things. They seemingly appear before your eyes from nowhere. They scurry across the floor and have no regard for mop nor broom. Lightning fast they are. After you’re done sweeping, and walking the dustmop across the floor and into their favorite hiding spots; after you’ve wiped the sweat from your eyes there, THERE is another in the middle of the hallway. They are like little children and (honest, listen hard) they laugh at you. “You can’t get me”. If you leave them alone they can grow to the size of a small dog.

“Small dog”

That brings me to the reason for my writing today. Two days have passed since the unexpected loss of my dear beagle girl ‘freckles’. I spent several hours of the last two days helping my two other precious dogs, ‘Bear’ and ‘Snickers’, accustom themselves to being without her. We went walking and played at the dog park.  They swam and ran as fast as they could.  Today I grieve.

I swept up the last of the dust bunnies from my house, Tuesday.  Today I found none.

My dear girl Freckles has left the housekeeping chores to the angels.

Freckles

 

Freckles

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2014-04-01 11.44.50
Another mouth to feed, one that decidedly will become a big one.  This  67-yr old, not the least bit athletic, not even remotely athletic, has fallen for one of the litter I wrote about in February.  Lil Bear, I call him.  You can call me crazy.  I wavered for a couple weeks. I brought him home to ‘try out’ with my other two older, wonderful dogs.  That didn’t exactly go well.  Freckles is afraid Bear will eat his food.  Snickers is afraid Bear will take his spot next to me on the couch.  My reassurance did not help.   I brought him back to the litter the next day.  It was hard, I cri ed.  My husband said we don’t need another dog.  No one really needs one dog unless it’s a service dog.  But three!  He’s right, I don’t need another dog.

Lil Bear, hit my heart hard!  When I went to help my daughter clean up after the first 6 pups left, I tried to ignore him.  I cleaned up poopey papers, washed the floors as he and his litter-mates chased the mop.  I hugged and petted each pup equally.  Well almost.  when I picked him up for his lovin’, he looked into my eyes and he laughed, I know he laughed.  He knew he had me.  Another of the litter was adopted.  Down to 5 from the 11 Maisey had birthed.  I knew the last male was being kept by Julie, my daughter.   I tried out a female which was my preference if I was crazy enough to have another dog.  The little girl was so spooked by my female beagle, I thought she’d die of fright.  After an hour or two, I took her home.  She was sweet but I knew she would be forever skittish.  I really don’t need another dog anyway.

Julie reminded me that soon after their ‘fixin’, the remaining pups would be going to the adoption center.  Last weekend I decided I do need another dog and brought ‘Bear’ home again.  My logic is flawed I’m sure, but here it is.  My daughter owns his mother.  His favorite playmate of the litter is also going to be with my daughter.  I’m sure Bear will be a frequent visitor at the home four short miles away.  Julie will often take bear to the beach with them all to run.  She will also care for him if I need to travel.  Bear Loves Me!  Enough said? No?

I LOVE Li’l BEAR! Now he is mine.

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Sensitivity

Has anyone else noticed the lack of sensitivity in people today. Or maybe I just run in the wrong circles. Maybe I have surrounded myself in this senseless world full of senseless tragedy, with senseless people. I don’t have a thin skin. As a matter of fact anyone will tell you I can brush about anything off, even when I shouldn’t. Anyone that knows me knows that as quick as I am to anger, I’m even quicker to forgive. People (a huge generalization) are insensitive. They can feel their own pain or discomfort or elation and joy, but not another’s. They don’t bother to ‘read’ people, they can’t feel them.

This morning (Father’s Day) I got up and while my husband still slept, I made homemade muffins and biscuits. I worked as quietly as possible. When the smoke alarm went off I quickly opened doors and turned up the oven fan to make it stop. I knew I had awakened him, but thought maybe he would fall back to sleep. I arranged the table and placed his napkin (on which I wrote ‘happy Dad’s day, I love you’) nearby. Everything was set in place including a red nasturtium bloom on his plate. He did sleep a little longer. I heard him arise awhile later, and he completed his morning bathroom routine. When he finally emerged he said not a word. He walked right past the table so carefully set. Not even a ‘good morning’. I knew he was angry that the alarm woke him, but that silence hurt. It cut like a knife!

Ok, as I sit here in a breakfast joint with an endless cup of coffee.  I feel better now that I have spouted off.  Thank you again “Teddy’s Pieces”

coffee

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It sounds so cliché’ to say how sorry I am to all the families that lost their loved ones yesterday. But still I have to say it so….

To the Parents and siblings, children and spouse’s, Grandparents, Aunts and Uncles, nieces and nephews, neighbors, playmates, teachers, pastors, Scout Leaders, Soccer coaches, babysitters, to all who knew and loved these children and Educators, I’m so sorry for your loss. To all the police, firefighters, EMTs, nurses and doctors, interns, administrators that in some way, any way, experienced such a horrific sight, I am so sorry.

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